22 Jan 2009


I did some first aid training today, and got covered in fake blood which was fun. Most people were seemed unwilling to get bloody but I embraced it. I'm not a 'First Aider' now as much as an Appointed Person, which enables me to:

1. Call an ambulance (I now know how...)
2. Take charge of an accident situation

To be honest, on the second one, I was only really good at the empathy/nurturing side of things. In the final scenario where my team an I were faced with multiple casualties and and a rotund drunk lesbian (it was a guess about the lesbian thing, but generally my gaydar is pretty sharp) I did a shit bandage round a hand, ballsed up the recovery position, and failed to reason with the squiffy lady (who also had a head injury, albeit not a relevant one).

Saying that though, I'm pretty good at CPR - maybe its the rhythmic side of things. When the teachers were out the room, I offered my own dangerous version:


The Heimlich Manoeuvre (or whatever the proper term is) was a tough one. Everyone else was paired off with other learners, but I had the secondary rotund lesbian, and she told me off for not supporting her enough during the back slaps (she was very heavy). I wasn't 100% comfortable with 'landmarking' her chest and belly button either, but I did my best to convince myself that this was a real emergency.

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